The Spotlight in Relationship Dynamics

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The spotlight changes between the 7th House and the 8th House when it comes to relationships of all kinds. With the 7th House, the spotlight is not on you, but your partner. It’s a time of initiating opportunities to discover and learn about each other. The 7th House rules the spark of start one-on-one interactions. The 7th House is after all naturally ruled by Libra, a cardinal sign. While the spotlight is on the partner, there’s a lot to see. A lot of things to like, a lot of things to dislike. However, even if the spotlight is on the other person, you still exist in the darkness. You react to your partner from the darkness and they react in their own way in the light. Even though you’re not seen, what you give to your partner is what you get. This is called projection an this can occur when you’re self-unaware because the spotlight isn’t on you.

However, all of that changes with the 8th House. The spotlight turns to you the moment you want to make the relationship deeper. After being in the dark for some time, the light is painfully blinding when it hits your eyes. The blinding light in a sense can represent the pain of intimacy. Intimacy is shown in the 8th House and it can either bring the best or the worst out of you. With the 8th House, there is a sense of having unwanted exposure. There are parts of yourself that are now seen out in the open, whether you want it seen or not. You are exposed in a painfully genuine way. If you and your partner reject the flaws that are presented, the relationship will end. If you and your partner accepts the flaws, then the relationship gets stronger. The 8th House is after all naturally ruled by Scorpio, a fixed sign. After sightseeing qualities of a person in a relationship, you take those qualities and accept them for who they are. Or, you can throw those qualities out the door and cause the chaos Scorpio is known for.

This process happens in terms of different perspectives. To you, your partner is in the spotlight 7th House) and eventually, the spotlight comes onto you (8th House.) To your partner, the opposite occurs – with you in the spotlight and your partner in the dark. With this simultaneously occurring, in a relationship, the two people are simultaneously lit and hidden. This is why you notice so much about the other person, but maybe not yourself. The whole picture will be shown eventually, but how the people are shown will affect everything, for how the people are shown will affect the relationship dynamic, which is illustrated by the 7th and the 8th House.

“Red Flag” Synastry Aspects

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Synastry can be a confusing subject to look at. It’s already confusing enough to look at your natal chart, imagine how confusing it’d be to combine your natal chart with another person’s! In a synastry calculator, you can be very confused with what you see. So many lines, so many aspects to look at.

Aspects is a very important component in synastry. It’s the connections your planets make to your partner’s. It gives insight to the interactions between you two. While there’s some free-flowing, easy aspects, there’s some hard, challenging ones.

And sometimes, if not managed correctly, challenging aspects can turn into toxic, unhealthy aspects.

A little disclaimer before I list such aspects. Everybody has their own idea of what a “red flag” synastry aspect could be. This is just my opinion on what I think would be toxic and unhealthy. And if you find that you and partner have one of these challenging aspects, don’t just throw your relationship out the door. Every relationship is challenging, and to just completely throw away a relationship just because you see a challenging aspect is foolish. It’s your relationship. Don’t let the stars determine your actions. I personally have one of the “red flag” aspects below, but remember that challenging aspects can also turn to transforming, powerful aspects in a good way.

  1. Moon Square or Opposite Saturn – In this aspect, it can be argued that the Moon person will be mainly harmed, but I believe both people with this aspect will be hurt. The Saturn person will feel that the Moon person is constantly irresponsible, scolding and criticizing the Moon person like a child. The Moon person feels emotionally damaged by this, and if not handled correctly, the Moon person will eventually sensor what he/she says to the Saturn person while the Saturn person will eventually be in the dark. The Moon person could eventually be depressed with the relationship while the Saturn person will not be satisfied.
  2. Mars Square or Opposite Pluto – This aspect is notoriously known as one of the most dangerous synastry aspects a couple could have. There is definitely a strong, notable aggressive attitude the Mars and Pluto person possesses while they are presented in different ways. Arguments can be quite explosive within this pairing, since both people are too stubborn and aggressive to give in. If the two individuals are physically violent, this aspect can show violence and abuse. However, if there isn’t any signs in the charts of each of individual, abuse and violence is not likely to occur.
  3. Mars Square or Opposite Saturn – Unlike the Moon Square or Opposite Saturn aspect, this aspect can negatively manifest into something more violent. With the disciplinary, harsh, and criticizing tendencies of Saturn, the Saturn person will most likely criticize the Mars person for everything they do since Mars is the planet of energy, and everything requires energy. The Mars person could have a need to rebel and openly act against the Saturn person while the Saturn person would have a stronger need to restrict the Mars person. Since Saturn is a planet that represents longevity, this aspect wouldn’t manifest early in a romantic relationship, but rather later into the relationship when both people are comfortable with each other.
  4. Venus Square or Opposite Uranus – In this aspect, the Uranus person will most likely want their relationship with the Venus to be as spontaneous and interesting as possible. However, the Venus person may want romantic structure in the relationship and the Uranus person can resent this. In romantic situations, it can be quite erratic and inconstant, making the relationship quite unsteady and dramatic, especially for the Venus person. Sometimes, the Uranus person can be romantically or emotionally distant from the Venus person.
  5. Venus Square of Opposite Pluto – There is a strong powerful struggle between the Venus and Pluto person. The Pluto person is likely to dominant over the Venus person, and sometimes, this can be hard for the Venus person to accept. The Pluto person can also be quite possessive and jealous when it comes to the Venus person. While there is a strong attraction between the two, the relationship between the two could be quite an emotional rollercoaster. If an relationship were to end between the Venus and Pluto person, the chances of repeating the relationship is slim due to the overpowering passion between the two.

♡ love in the stars ♡

 

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Hello! Have you been stuck when it comes to love? Do you ever struggle wondering what you want? Well, to know yourself well on the romantic side, here’s some things you could look at on your natal chart!

Note before I start: Venus and Mars, like the Sun and Moon are two differing planets that brings balance when brought together. Venus is a feminine planet while Mars is a masculine planet. I will mention below that Venus is how a female will primarily pursue someone while Mars is how a male will pursue someone. I am strictly only mentioning that with the assumption that females will express feminine energies while males will express masculine energies, since they identify with the female and male genders. Now, in this world, there are certainly more than two genders. If you happen to find yourself to be a gender that isn’t male or female, work with Mars and Venus together and find which interpretation works best for you. Also, if a woman has strong masculine energies in her natal chart, involving Mars in how she’ll pursue someone is a great possibility. The same would go for a man who has a lot of feminine energies in his natal chart.

Now, let’s really begin.

  1. VENUS. Venus, the planet of beauty and romance. Probably the best place to look for when it comes to romance! Here are some places to look at when it comes to Venus:
    • THE SIGN. Your Venus sign tells you what attracts you romantically, and how you would act in love! This is especially true for girls, since it is a feminine planet! What you want in a first date would be expressed by your Venus!
    • LOCATION. The house where your Venus is located will mix and work together with the sign of your Venus! A lot of people can think their Venus is expressed as a certain sign, but when you put it into a different house, you could express your Venus in a different way, depending on which sign rules the house your Venus is in. The House that your Venus is in can show where and how your romance can manifest, implying that the location of your Venus could show where you’ll most likely meet your love interests in a literal sense.
    • ASPECTS. Aspects can certainly change how you express your Venus. Aspects show that there are outside factors (other planets) that can affect what you find attractive and how you express your love.
  2. MARS. Whether you connect love and sex or not, Mars is very important, especially if you’re a guy, because Mars is a masculine planet. It also rules how you will flirt with the person you like. Mars also shows what you’re like in the bedroom. Here are the places to look at when it comes to Mars.
    • THE SIGN. The sign of your Mars will tell you exactly how you will express yourself when you want to pursue someone or have sex. Mars shows how a guy will usually pursue you in love. How you would like things to go down in the bedroom is something that can be found with Mars.
    • LOCATION. The House where your Mars is located will mix and work together with the sign of your Mars. The location of your Mars on your natal chart can change how you express yourself sexually, and where you’re most likely to pursue someone.
    • ASPECTS. Aspects can certainly change how you express your Mars. Aspects show that there are outside factors (other planets) that can affect what you find sexually attractive and how you express your sexuality.
  3. PLUTO. The deep, intimate side of sex  is one of the things that Pluto gives insight to. Look at the sign of Pluto and what house it’s in to gain some insight in what kind of secret intimacy you want to have with your partner. The house Pluto resides in is more important than the sign of Pluto (but you still need to look) due to the fact that Pluto is a generational planet, meaning that people in the same generation can have the same sign. Also pay attention to any aspects your Pluto can make.
  4. JUNO. Your Juno gives insight to what you want in a partner for the long run, and what your life partner could actually be like! Check the sign and House your Juno resides in. However, since Juno is considered an asteroid, it can be seen to be significantly less important than the planets. Juno is a good asteroid to look at when you want to find very refined details about what you’d like in a practical partner in the long run.
  5. PSYCHE AND EROS. These are your “sex” asteroids. While Mars is kind of a little general, telling you about your energy, passion, your masculine side, and your anger, your Psyche and Eros signs will give you more insight into how your love interest could be in the bedroom. You don’t need an exact birth time, but you do need your love interest’s birthday. Once you find it, compare your Eros sign to your partner’s PSYCHE sign. Don’t pair your Eros to their Eros or vice versa, since Psyche and Eros are a pair.
  6. SYNASTRY. Synastry is perhaps one of the closest and most accurate attempts to illustrate the dynamics between two people. Unlike simple compatibility (which I highly dislike,) synastry is way of looking at a relationship between two people by taking two natal charts and putting them on top of each other. From there, there are some things to pay attention to:
    • CHART OVERLAYS. Chart overlays are important in synastry because a chart overlay can show how a person’s planet will affect another person’s area of life in their natal chart.
    • ASPECTS IN THE SYNASTRY CHART. The aspects you find in the actual synastry chart is very important. It paints a picture of how a couple will exactly attempt to work with each other in a relationship. The aspects are made from one person’s planet, to another person’s planet. The planets that are making aspects can create various “roles” the two people can play in a relationship.
  7. COMPOSITE CHARTS. Unlike synastry, composite charts don’t focus on the two individuals, but more on the relationship itself. Composite charts are created by creating the midpoint of your placements your partner’s placements into a chart. The nature of your relationship when you two are together are mentioned here, and how people will think of your relationship will also be mentioned! While synastry is more “romance” based since it goes very deeply into the inner workings of two people, you can do a composite chart with your friends. You can create a chart from more than two people, so might as well do your whole squad!
  8. DAVISON RELATIONSHIP CHART. The Davison chart is a technique many modern astrologers use today to find the current dynamics of a relationship. Like the composite chart, the Davison chart shows the nature of the relationship between two people. However, calculating the Davison chart is different from the composite in the sense that the midpoint date between the two people is used to make the chart, rather than the midpoint of the two people’s placements in their natal charts. The Davison Relationship Chart is often called “The Birthday of a Relationship,” since the relationship receives a natal birth chart just like an individual. The chart’s exact birth time can also show how the first meeting between two people went. This is also a chart you can perform transits and progressions on, so you could also see how a relationship could progress in a relationship. However, this does not determine the future state of your relationship in any specific way.
  9. THE 5TH HOUSE. The fifth house strictly rules dating, and other fun, not-so-serious affairs, like a one night stand. How you are when you’re looking for a casual romantic relationship would be mentioned here. Pay attention to the signs, planets, and aspects made to the planets in this house if you have any.
  10. THE 7TH HOUSE. The seventh house strictly rules marriage and the long-term partnership in your life! Things like serious relationships and marriage will be mentioned here! Pay attention to the signs, planets, and the aspects made to the planets in this house if you have any!
  11. THE 8TH HOUSE. Like Pluto, the 8th House can show you insight into how you would like to get intimate with someone. While this intimacy can manifest as sex, sex is not the only way of getting intimate with someone. Do be aware that the 8th House does not JUST rule sex, but other life-changing transformations.
  12. THE DESCENDANT. The Descendant is the sign that rules the cusp of your 7th House. The Descendant gives insight to what you want in a partner, but also how what you want in a partner could eventually be problematic in your relationship.
  13. THE SUN-MOON MIDPOINT. While the Venus-Mars midpoint could give you a good idea for compatibility, I personally the sun-moon midpoint is better when it comes to compatibility. All you gotta do is look up your sun-moon midpoint on astro.com and find the sign! Whatever sign is your sun-moon midpoint, you’ll find comfort and feel attracted to anybody who has personal planets in your sun-moon midpoint, even if they’re not attracted to you! However, do pay attention to tight aspects made between your sun-moon midpoint to another person’s personal planet.
  14. VERTEX. The Vertex is known as the “secondary” Descendant and could give more insight to what you want in a partner. Just look up your vertex on astro.com, and you’ll find the sign. Like I mentioned earlier, pay attention to any tight aspects made between your vertex and another person’s personal planet.
  15. NORTH AND SOUTH NODE. If you’ve ever felt that “deja vu” moment when you talk to a certain someone, maybe one of your planets is conjunct to their North and South Node. If you have a strong connection to someone in your South Node, they could have connections to you from a past life. If you have a strong connection to someone in your North Node, this person will most definitely help you in the what you need to do in this lifetime.
  16. THE ELEMENTS, POLARITIES, AND QUADRUPLICITIES. The elements, polarities, and quadruplicities are not only a helpful way for you to understand the signs, but it is also a great way to simply figure out simple compatibility. However, I do not recommend this method in the long run, because to simply organize compatibility in these three categories can ultimately generalize compatibility in a relationship, which is not optimal. It’s important to stay open-minded while determining the compatibility between two people while using astrology.

In fact, it’s ultimately up to you to do whatever you want. If ANY of these things on the list rules against what you want in love, GO FOR IT ANYWAY. Astrology is ultimately supposed to guide, not to dictate what you do.

Speaking of guides, I hope the post was a good guide to get you guys started on the complicated subject of love. Love is certainly complicated, but with the right tools, you can always make progress in understanding yourself and others.